Balancing our Needs

At various different stages of our lives we circumstances change and we have different needs. In any relationship the needs that exist between a couple can differ at any given point in time. Separation or  divorce will not stop the difference in these needs. Sometimes one person is working, not working, ill, incapacitated, emigrating, staying at home etc. This is often a difficult period for the other person.

Difficulties in achieving balance also apply to the mediation process. For example one person might have moved on with their life, whilst the other person might still be experiencing difficulty in coming to terms with the end of the relationship. Mediation can assist couples and their families in finding a balance between their respective needs.

Sometimes the needs of the children will not meet with the needs of the adults. These issues can be discussed in mediation and flexible solutions can be entered into whereby people can choose several options to be road tested over a period of time.

Mediation is an extremely flexible process. Couples can try and test multiple solutions before committing to a final agreement. This process is referred to as “road testing”. Like taking a new car for a test drive couples can try out a particular set of financial or access arrangements to see if they work. If they are satisfied with the results of the test they can either tweak the results or implement the interim arrangement.

Couples can achieve balance in their respective needs by trying different options over a period of time before committing to final results. When a court makes an order there is no room for flexibility generally for parties who have been afforded an arrangement by the court. In the mediation environment for couples placed their trust in the process it is possible to find flexible solutions.